In these part quite recently we went through a time with "The Shepherding Movement" in which leaders exerted a too great degree of control over people lives outside of proper spiritual arena.
The Shepherding Movement tried to control all aspects of a person's life: who they associated with, their living conditions, their vocation, etc, etc.
They also used shame based methods of trying to control their people.
It is now almost universally recognized that that group went to far in its 'mentoring' processes. The question remains to be answered:
If the leadership team of the church commands me to eat my shoes that is obviously an illegal command (it is harmful) and contrary to the limits of spiritual authority (the bible gives no commands regarding the eating of shoes.)
If my pastor commands me to divorce my husband that is also a clear contradiction of spiritual authority because it directly contradicts God's reveal will and heart on the topic of marriage.
So what are the limits?